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RobyoParticipantWashington – President Obama, U.S. congressmen and their aides held an emergency four hour-long meeting Wednesday to decide what action to take to stem a sudden and unprecedented mass enlightenment of the US population that threatens to destabilize the Government and create a fiscal crisis.
Millions of citizens jubilantly celebrated their new awareness as they suddenly realized they have been lied to all their lives on just about everything by their psychopathic, conscienceless leaders of major corporations, government and security agencies.
Residents in all major cities across the United States awoke Wednesday morning complaining that they were experiencing an inexplicable mental clarity that was causing them to realize the way they were about to spend their day was utterly pointless, a potential health threat and would only add energy and finances to a powerful wealthy elite that had been ruling their lives since as long as they could remember.
Congress was thrown into chaos when a majority of staff decided to simply stop showing up for work until their bosses resign; in a move of solidarity, energy companies turned off the power to government buildings and military bases, while water companies shut down their water supply; repair people refused to carry out repairs for the politically well-connected and television network staff refused to report the lies they are routinely ordered to tell by their editors.
One Chicago resident's report was consistent with many similar accounts coming in from across the country. Joe, 42 told us how he had become aware of the diversionary, divide and conquer machinations of the psychopathic oligarchs, especially in relation to abortion, health care, immigration, global warming, peak oil, 9/11, fake terrorism, both current wars and past wars, 'necessary police actions', empire building and resource plundering, left vs right, evolution vs creationism, fundamentalists vs everybody else!
“Wow! I sort of felt things weren't right but to suddenly be able to see the true nature of all the lies we've been bombarded with by media and Big Government is just mind-boggling, ” Joe exclaimed.
“The public seems to have finally understood that they're so sick and going bankrupt because of the FDA/AMA medical mafia and Big Pharma's Gestapo death grip over absolutely everything! I've noticed how food companies, Monsanto and Big Pharma's share prices have exploded over the past few years,” said Joe. “I can see it's because they have bought Congress and have a complete monopoly over our food supply, health and non-existent consideration for others' well-being.”
Reports are flooding in of people deciding to buy or trade for goods with hand crafters in their own region instead of shopping at Wal-Mart. Rather than buying GMO foods at the supermarket chain stores, they've formed co-ops with their neighbors, bought fresh food in bulk and are getting together to can foods, smoke meats and pickle vegetables – followed by a barbecue. Feeling so connected and enthused by that, ordinary people across the nation are organizing all kinds of meetings to learn all the old skills that their grandparents knew that made them independent.
People are leaving the cities in droves and, en masse, have established themselves on previously restricted government land. This resulted in a veritable frenzy of house-building and barn raising parties followed, once again, by barbecues where home-made pickles were enjoyed by all.
The reasons for the mass-awakening are as yet unclear. One possible explanation has been given by the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency where officials have discovered that the normally high levels of fluoride added to the nation's drinking water were “accidentally omitted.” It's suspected that workers at water plants are responsible. Government Health officials have advised all citizens to carry on working as normal, eat lots of fast-food and stay glued to their TV sets in the hope that any thoughts generated in people by seeing the reality of the situation will be pacified by toxins, apathy and a return to the steady atrophy of their brains.
Citizens have been urged by the Obama administration to report anyone they witness behaving in a non-consumer- capitalist manner to Homeland Security who, with the help of FEMA, will permanently detain anyone found more than 5 meters from a Television screen.
PookztAMembercool article, especially for an April Fool's one 🙂
on a separate note…
times are changing, yes they are! just wish our congressional representatives were changing along with the majority of the population 🙂
Boooooooooooooooooom to the future! so glad to be alive during this revolutionary time period 🙂
HARDKORNATEMemberso glad to be alive during this revolutionary time period 🙂
You must be referring to how the powers that be are absolutely owning us. We aren't winning shit. The sheeple breed faster than those who care to figure it out and theres so much misinformation out there that those who care often latch on to bullshit perpetrated by the “man.”
PookztAMemberso glad to be alive during this revolutionary time period 🙂
You must be referring to how the powers that be are absolutely owning us. We aren't winning shit. The sheeple breed faster than those who care to figure it out and theres so much misinformation out there that those who care often latch on to bullshit perpetrated by the “man.”
if i woke up, then others can wake up. that gives me hope!
PauldoMemberso glad to be alive during this revolutionary time period 🙂
You must be referring to how the powers that be are absolutely owning us. We aren't winning shit. The sheeple breed faster than those who care to figure it out and theres so much misinformation out there that those who care often latch on to bullshit perpetrated by the “man.”
if i woke up, then others can wake up. that gives me hope!
You're still asleep. You're just viewing someone else dream now, asleep and dreaming just the same.
PookztAMemberso glad to be alive during this revolutionary time period 🙂
You must be referring to how the powers that be are absolutely owning us. We aren't winning shit. The sheeple breed faster than those who care to figure it out and theres so much misinformation out there that those who care often latch on to bullshit perpetrated by the “man.”
if i woke up, then others can wake up. that gives me hope!
You're still asleep. You're just viewing someone else dream now, asleep and dreaming just the same.
that was almost poetic Pauldo! Thanks for insulting me in such a creative and poetic way! reading your post made me smile, as weird as it sounds…
thanks for being such a unique individual Pauldo. I hope you are in great health and have gotten the positive text messages I have been sending you recently. Hope your health is great bro, take care. -Abe
justinGuestIt felt really good reading this! (although I thought it was an Onion article initially ;)) Thanks for posting!
Honestly, deep down I think the planet will… reject us before any kind of mass enlightenment occurs. If there is a spiritual war going on as it seems, we are most definitely losing. No contest. Something very very dramatic would need to happen for the tables to turn. You see little things hear and there, and I think that's what keeps a lot of us going, but it's just so overpowered by everything else. With the weather getting nicer you look around you and it's like we exist in this eden-like paradise just saturated with complete garbage. I just don't understand how things got to this point, but I know they can't go on for much longer.
PauldoMemberthanks for being such a unique individual Pauldo. I hope you are in great health and have gotten the positive text messages I have been sending you recently. Hope your health is great bro, take care. -Abe
I told you to stop contacting me. Don't use my health condition as a means of finding common ground between us.
PookztAMemberIt felt really good reading this! (although I thought it was an Onion article initially ;)) Thanks for posting!
Honestly, deep down I think the planet will… reject us before any kind of mass enlightenment occurs. If there is a spiritual war going on as it seems, we are most definitely losing. No contest. Something very very dramatic would need to happen for the tables to turn. You see little things hear and there, and I think that's what keeps a lot of us going, but it's just so overpowered by everything else. With the weather getting nicer you look around you and it's like we exist in this eden-like paradise just saturated with complete garbage. I just don't understand how things got to this point, but I know they can't go on for much longer.
+1. i just wanted to add that I think it is in no way too late to fix it all, but we have to turn things around asap. just my 2 cents
RobyoParticipantYeah, life ain't all peaches and puppydogs and stuff. Seems like the most reliably “enlightened” path is one of self-initiated discovery and exploration. If you can change yourself, perhaps then the world can change with you? Or maybe you'll just go nuts! Either way you're free, no?
I do think we can be conscious and selective of the information we let filter into our brainwaves. With so much media stimulation, it's easy to get overloaded. Constant bombardment or information that influences us psychologically and emotionally. Is all this perceived turmoil just a symptom of a sick individual or an unhealthy society?
Addiction is pervasive. Even with the television. It's a chore, but I try to ignore the fluff of corporate-sponsored trends that get consistently shoveled at us. Does anyone recall the slogan, “The revolution will not be televised.” No, not all TV shows are bad; there are a few with decent writing and acting (and maybe I'll netflix those eventually). But, it seems better to waste time doing something productive or creative.
Our culture will get a jump-start when as a society, we finally make the shift from mass consumption to mass creativity. At least, that is my hope. Most of the gatekeepers of culture, the teachers, politicians, judges, and other “guardians of the system” tend to be incredibly uncreative. It's not entirely their fault. To excel in many fields involves deep conformity and acceptance of precedent. Can we really expect freethinkers to come out of a system that depends on assimilation? As a result, the analogy goes: our country is spinning it's proverbial wheels on the road of progress; a road soaked with oil and blood. We have supposedly reached peak oil. Are we ready for the shift? Or are we stuck in a time-loop? Will it all collapse eventually? Or will we evolve? I'd like to think our culture can eventually shake off materialism, as if waking up from a bad dream. The people can finally attain consciousness. But maybe that's just wishful thinking.
AlienAudienceMember^ good post man
RobyoParticipant^ good post man
thanx! have a taco…
AscensionKeymasterThat was a good post Rob (the one trevor said good post to). I wonder though, what would be the end result of a mass enlightenment (if it occurs)? I hear people talk about this, but they all seem to have different views on what this means exactly and what would happen afterward. I'm not trying to be negative, but it doesn't seem likely that this would happen in the way most people envision it, especially since everyone has their own view on what this would even be. Just tryin to generate some relevant discussion/ it's interesting to hear people's points of view on this subject.
Tacos to you!
PauldoMemberAs we all know, one medical student's “enlightenment” is another man's “crazy”.
RobyoParticipantKevin, you say “it doesn't seem likely that this would happen in the way most people envision it,” but maybe that's overly broad. I think MOST people don't envision it all. Folks are too busy working, pursuing materialism, or just trying to stay afloat in this tsunami of life. Or even if they did envision some kind of mass enlightenment, it probably coincides with their religious beliefs or worldview (Rapture, Armageddon, etc). I don't know what a mass enlightenment looks like, but it's fun to think about. The original article in this thread is just a gag, obviously. But I think enlightenment is a possible notion. Perhaps, like the 100th monkey theory, it just takes a critical mass of people to reset cultural norms (and yes, I know the theory is generally considered inaccurate). Slavery used to be par-for-the-course. Now it's taboo (at least around here). Can the same thing happen to say, war, or pollution, or unchecked corporate greed?
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