[PookztA]

Trevor,

Please explain what authority I flexed other than taking initiative to organize and finance events when no one else would, with hopes of keeping Mindoutpsyde alive and going. Please provide some examples of me being the “dictator” that you seem to think I am. I really would like to hear an example of this, because this is the second time you have made that claim in a public setting, yet you have provided no examples, testimonies, or evidence, to support your claim that I was any less of a democratic event organizer than Chris was.

Please explain how me using democratic tools that Chris had never used, such as forum planning discussion, forum polls, group facebook messaging, and group text messaging, is any more “authoritarian” than Chris was. This is the second time you have made such a claim, yet you have not provided any evidence to back up your claim.

As for Peter, I sent him several thank you emails because I could not believe how beautiful some of the flyers were that he was making. He even told me after he finally replied, that I was overwhelming him with thank yous because he felt like he was just sharing his talents and that it wasn't that big of a deal. He could not understand why I was so thankful, so I can completely understand why he felt overwhelmed. It is important to note that I never sent him a barrage of emails asking him to help us with flyers, because I never did that. I know you didn't say I did either, I just wanted to clarify, that my barrage of emails that “overwhelmed” him were primarily Thank You's and explanations as to why I was so appreciative of him sharing his beautiful talents with us. He seems sensitive, and of course, I tend to get too excited about things sometimes, so it's no big deal in my opinion.

As for Chris asking you to fire up Mindoutpsyde in Cali, please do. It would be nice to at least have one active sector of Mindoutpsyde. If I recall correctly, you and Chris never really rekindled your friendship until after you had quit Mindoutpsyde, so it is not like you were great friends when you quit. I am stressing this because Chris and You reestablishing your friendship over the last year or whatever does not justify the fact that Chris and I had some major problems with your selfishness and lack of effort with Mindoutpsyde, in fact, quite the opposite. I cannot stress to you enough how many times we discussed this issue, and often times I had to calm him down and encourage him to have faith in you, that eventually you would “come around”. I hope the drama that my posts inspired helped you and Chris become closer, because a lot of people seemed to have grown closer by labeling me as “the bad guy”, so I am glad that my posting indirectly helped you and Chris to rekindle your friendship. My Dad and his daughter (my sister) also grew closer after he labeled me as “the bad guy”, after I told him that he was a horrible Dad and that he was causing his daughters the same pain he had caused me as a child. After I told him that, he changed his phone number so I could not contact him, and labeled me as “the bad guy”, and ever since then, he and my sister have grown closer than ever. It seems that by giving him a target to focus his anger and rage, I have helped them to grow closer, so hopefully your negative view of me has helped you and Chris to similarly grow closer and rekindle your friendship.  

Anyway, you are entitled to your opinion, but your accusations are not evidence-based. You claim I am some big bad dictator, yet you have not even given one example of this. Contrastingly, I have given you several examples of how I tried to be more of a democratic leader and “team player” after Chris lost his initiative to keep going with events, around the time of the whole John Reeves / Fairfield thing. In fact, that is the whole reason I registered us with the state of Iowa, because John Reeves had sent the Iowa Department of Revenue after us, so I needed to make us official and pay off our taxes to get them off our back.

So, please provide evidence for your accusations, or please let's take this elsewhere, because it is surely going no where, and in addition, this is a negative discussion that is not appropriate for this forum in my opinion, especially with Sacred Earth approaching fast.

Email me if you want to continue this.

Thanks for understanding why I don't think this is the best place to have this discussion. (perhaps we could do it in the Mindoutpsde forum since we don't have any major event coming up?)

-Abe

[AlienAudience]

lol

Abe, I've got nothing else to say man, it's all been said.

My 'evidence' to suggest you didn't handle yourself correctly is two members leaving once Chris left and others seriously considering following suit. Not to mention a few other people who were once great friends of yours, no longer wanting anything at all to do with you, personally or professionally. 

I don't need to present any evidence man, you've presented enough evidence these last few months for every member of every internet forum in the world.

My part in this conversation is over. I. AM. DONE.

[PookztA]

lol

Abe, I've got nothing else to say man, it's all been said.

My 'evidence' to suggest you didn't handle yourself correctly is two members leaving once Chris left and others seriously considering following suit. Not to mention a few other people who were once great friends of yours, no longer wanting anything at all to do with you, personally or professionally.  

I don't need to present any evidence man, you've presented enough evidence these last few months for every member of every internet forum in the world.

My part in this conversation is over. I. AM. DONE.

great, glad we are done now.

well, if you ever realize something you forgot to say, or even if you just want to send me a super hateful email to get all your rage out at once, please just email me at [email protected]. I am used to it by now.

Take care,

-Abe

[zensphere]

lol

Abe, I've got nothing else to say man, it's all been said.

My 'evidence' to suggest you didn't handle yourself correctly is two members leaving once Chris left and others seriously considering following suit. Not to mention a few other people who were once great friends of yours, no longer wanting anything at all to do with you, personally or professionally. 

I don't need to present any evidence man, you've presented enough evidence these last few months for every member of every internet forum in the world.

My part in this conversation is over. I. AM. DONE.

great, glad we are done now.

well, if you ever realize something you forgot to say, or even if you just want to send me a super hateful email to get all your rage out at once, please just email me at [email protected]. I am used to it by now.

Take care,

-Abe

Didn't seem like Trevor was raging in the least, imo.

But you sure do manage to polarize things, Abe! Seems like drama and controversy just swell up around you.

Weird.

Ah well, PLUR, right?

[psycherhexic]

^^ it wouldn't have anything to do with comments like this hurting people's feelings?

I've read the whole thread.. and a couple others.. and I can't figure out why Abe is getting attacked? Obviously I don't know JACK SHIT from a couple threads  ;D but people make it seem like “everythings been said”.  well if it has, then I don't see why anyone is this angry?

was the winter really that cold?  ;D

seriously, look at the title of the thread… as I don't have television, I'm sort of following this drama like a soap opera.. so tell me.. after reading the OP why is Abe getting attacked?

[PookztA]

Joseph: not once did I say Trevor was “raging”. please try harder to not put words in my mouth. I simply said he was intentionally bringing drama to this public forum by posting for the specific purpose of venting his negative feelings towards me, even though this is not the appropriate venue for him to vent those feelings. glad it is over with. PLUR indeed, so please contribute to that by not putting words in my mouth. yes, Drama does swell up around me, but I try to minimize it for the most part. i thought my responses were very calm, mature, and non-provoking. i did not want to provoke him by bringing up the many issues I have with him, rather, I just wanted to defend myself and defuse the situation. again, glad it is over with.

Ben: thanks for expressing your opinion, confusion, and curiosity. i bet there are others who have the same feelings and questions as you do.

Peace, Love, Unity, and Respect folks. this is why I have been trying to post more positive things, because I realize that my threads over the last year have caused some stress, confusion, fear, and dramatic feelings in many readers, so that is why I am trying to post more positive things, and topics that we can all appreciate rather than argue about. I hope you see my efforts to try and bring more peacefulness and positive energy to this forum.

This may sound Utopian, but I truly want everyone to be happy. Not just the people of this forum, but everyone. So, if there is anything I can do to help you be less stressed out or angry, please let me know, as Sacred Earth is approaching fast and I would hate for my presence to cause anyone there to have less of a positive experience. There is no time to waste, so if anyone has any negative feelings about me whatsoever, feel free to express them in anyway, rude or polite, in the public Mindoutpsyde.com forums or via a private email to me. I do not want people to hold their negative feelings in, because that results in stress and long-term grudges.

Just let me know if there is anything I can do to help.

Take care,

-Abe

[PookztA]

updated 1st post with some genuine, honest thoughts about Trevor and Brent, and added some additional comments that came to mind about Nick and Phil.

back to studying I go.

[Pauldo]

Pauldo: I know we are not on the best of terms, but you are one of the coolest Psytrancers I know. I know you are an older guy, but you make it very obvious that age does not mean shit. Your energy, enthusiasm, and creativity, has greatly enriched many Psytrance events I have had the opportunity to be a part of. From your beautiful Medussa to your Alien-birth on New Years Eve a few years ago, I can honestly say that your artistic skills have changed my life. You are such a unique and amazing individual, it really sucks that you no longer live in the Midwest. Still though, the fact that you are coming to Sacred Earth is outstanding, and I really look forward to sharing the dance floor with you, even if we don't say a single word to each other the entire weekend.

All very nice memories…of the past.  Why the kind words now?  Because you are going to be seeing us soon in person?  Do you feel 100% ok with how you've conducted yourself on this forum and in the manner of how you argue?  Some guilt there?

So you're having conspiracy theories about Conspiratheorist…that's just great!  Did you catch your cognitive misstep in associating my absence from the forum with Conspiratheor presence?  Thus falsely assuming we were the same person?  Then you did it again with Emily.  (It would have been hilarious if she was Conspiratheor).  So did you catch how you didn't make correct associations there.  That's exactly what's wrong with your posts and arguments.  You don't make associations correctly, linking things that don't have a clear link, you've got some major cognitive blind spots that you need to fill in (all humans do).  Won't you please go get help today?  ;D

99% sure I won't make it to Sac Earth.  Have to be in Chi first week of July for a fam wedding so gonna make it to Secret Fire instead.  Catch ya then!

p.s.  I think my insults keep your ego in check.       

[PookztA]

the only thing i feel guilty / sorry for is that I have caused certain people stress, and lesser states of happiness.

the information I posted is not what I feel guilty for, but I do feel guilty that I responded to so many people in ways that pissed them off.

if i had a chance to do it all again, i would have posted the information and just let the thread run its course rather than comment on it and discuss it with others, that way they could have focused more on discussing the information and what they think about it, rather than focusing on me and how much I do or don't believe in that information.

that's not the only mistake I made, because even though I was replying, there were times where I would snap back just to anger other people, which is a waste of my energy. Spending energy to anger others is not a good thing, and I am guilty of doing that on multiple occasions. For example, when Xeno wrongly associated my evidence-based 9/11 beliefs with believing that the moon landing was a hoax (I do not believe the moon landing was a hoax), I should have just let that go, but instead, I responded specifically to call him a name. By calling him a “troll” that day, I did nothing but piss him off. I didn't clarify any points of the information, I didn't clarify the reasons why I posted the information, I did nothing productive by calling him a troll that day, in fact, it was counter-productive because i am sure that the comment upset him.

so yes, I made mistakes, and yes, I feel guilty that I have caused people unhappiness, so I created this thread to remind people of some of the things I genuinely appreciate about them and respect them for. I am not expecting this to heal any wounds, but I am hoping that it reminds people that even though we have disagreed and sometimes argued, that I still appreciate you all, even those who have insulted me the most.

I am not asking for forgiveness, but I am trying to bring more positive enegy into the forum so that others are more happy and less angry.

I don't like knowing that people are less happy due to the arguments we have had, so I am trying to focus on the things I like about others, rather than the things we disagree on.

Hope it helps, because I want everyone to be happy, not pissed off.

Sorry to hear you won't be at SEOA, that sucks, I was hoping to see you there.

Maybe at Secret Fire, but not sure if I am going there. I think SEOA will quench my Psy-thirst for a while, but we will see. Plus I was not invited. 🙂

-Abe

[edais]

so yes, I made mistakes, and yes, I feel guilty that I have caused people unhappiness, so I created this thread to remind people of some of the things I genuinely appreciate about them and respect them for. I am not expecting this to heal any wounds, but I am hoping that it reminds people that even though we have disagreed and sometimes argued, that I still appreciate you all, even those who have insulted me the most.

Again, thank you for the words, but why don't you just apologize?

[edais]

I have only heard one song from you so I can't say too much more about your skills yet, but I just wanted to tell you that I am honestly very impressed so far. Keep up the great work.

Listen to the newest one.  http://www.soundcloud.com/holographic-by-nature

[PookztA]

I have only heard one song from you so I can't say too much more about your skills yet, but I just wanted to tell you that I am honestly very impressed so far. Keep up the great work.

Listen to the newest one.  www.soundcloud.com/holographic-by-nature

Phil,

Good call on apologizing. I am taking your advice.

I am blown away by this track dude, how in the hell do you create the multi-layered melody like that? This melody is professional dude, so many layers that somehow harmonize and complement each other dude, this is seriously impressive. It is something I would expect to hear on a Nano Records release or something dude, honestly! I am listening to it for my third time and when that melody rushes in it gives me the chills. Literally, I have goosebumps right now, I swear on my life. I am specifically referring to the part at about 40 seconds into the song, when the bass drops out and the melody floods in, and then the bass finally kicks back in. As that melody flooded in, it literally gave me chills of positivity and awe. I am thoroughly impressed, and I think that this track should be released on a compilation of some kind. I also got the same overwhelming feeling of chills during the vocal sample, especially as the melody got more and more intense during the climax of her sample.  Perhaps you could talk to Scott and Igor about releasing it sometime through a Touch Samadhi compilation someday if that is possible? I am being 100% honest dude, as usual.

Listening to the song for about my 4th time now.

I also sent you an email.

Take care dude, and keep up the outstanding work. I have no suggestions on how to improve this track, because I honestly think it should be released as is.

I am proud to know you Phil,

-Abe

[edit: It was not until the 7th or 8th time of listening to this track on repeat that the chills and goosebumps finally stopped happening as intense. They are still there, but much weaker now.]

[edit: added sentence about taking Phil's advice]

[edais]

Thanks Abe!  Tacos!

[edais]

how in the hell do you create the multi-layered melody like that?

J. S. Bach.

Also, listening to a lot of really good psytrance for years!  haha…it's true.

[zensphere]

Bach FTMFW! ;D

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