That's a nice start!
The kicks are clicky like Zen said the envelope is probably the culprit. If your using straight samples the trick I uses is to pull back the actual loop of the sample to a part of the wave that intersects the x-axis just before the point where it normally stops its loop to fire off the next kick. I find this also helps for clearing out a bit of room for the bassline too!
As far as getting to many channels in and losing focus, a good thing to try might be to just focus on one set of sounds at a time, then adding in a next sound when your comfortable with what you got. Another thing I try to do when running into this issue is bouncing back and forth between different sets of sounds in shorter sections so I don't get overwhelmed trying to decide what it needs to be from start to finish, but what it is right then.
Keep at it and keep up the good work, you'll produce some interesting sounds before long, already off to a good start!
